What I hear most often is people understand the substantial benefits of meditation; but lament they either don’t do it at all, or don’t do it as much as they’d like. I have to admit I was definitely in this category. I could not meditate regularly for the life of me. I did a great job of meditating when I was at a retreat, or at the end of a yoga class. I always felt calmer and less stressed after these sessions. I even took a 12 week mindfulness-based stress relief course (MBSR), which was designed by a doctor to help cancer patients, and those with chronic pain. It was a wonderful course, that was very thorough and gave me a deeper understanding of the scope and breadth of meditation. However even after that course, I did not have a regular practice. I read books and watched YouTube videos about it, and I listened to many self-help gurus spouting the benefits. But for some reason I could not get a practice of my own going.
This hurdle was actually larger than just finding time to meditate. I couldn’t even find time for myself. My counselor at the time knew I needed to take better care of myself, so she recommended setting aside a day of the week for myself, then we tried to set aside an afternoon, then just an hour. I couldn’t do it. Not even once. I tried for almost a year. Forget about meditating, I couldn’t even find time for myself! Why? One day it came to me; I functioned under a belief that I never had enough time. Not enough time for anything. I was trying to squeeze every ounce out of every second. Almost panicking as the minutes, hours and days ticked by. Where had this belief gotten me? It fueled a deep anxiety that eventually became bad enough to effect my health. At that point I made a choice to quit my job, and step down from my other obligations. I decided I must get to the bottom of what was happening to me. I dedicated the next year to myself and my well being.
Out of that year, a deeply personal and satisfying meditation practice was born. It is now so much a part of my life, it’s as natural as breathing. Most days I find myself meditating one to two hours. What changed for me? How did this develop? As I hear others around me expressing their frustration with their own meditation practice, I truly empathize. I was there too. I desire to help others find their path. This is why I created my Movement & Meditation class, the Midfulness Moment, and this blog. I want to be real, and reach out to real people with real questions and struggles.
This is one of the main topics I will be blogging about as we move forward. I can’t wait to share with you, as well as field your comments and questions.
Here’s to your journey!
Movement. Mindfulness. Breath. Belief.